I was tagged by le embrouille blogueur few days back. The task is simple, you just need to write about 10 things that makes you crazy( Not schizophrenia type crazy, something which annoys you). I am a bit odd and weird. I know every other blogger says the same about him/her, but I too am no different. Probably that’s why we connect. Probably that’s why we blog.
Whats wrong with me? I have been pondering over things which annoy me for some time now, but there aren’t many. Am I close to sainthood? Why don’t I get annoyed? Have I become super ICECOOL? I don’t know, I think there aren’t many things in this world that annoys me.
1. Judgments people pass about a person, not really knowing or understanding him. Comments like:Ohh, “he is such an ass, or OHHH, he is a total recluse”. “He is such a serious character, He is very studious, He is arrogant”, etc Annoy me (used to annoy me). The very fact is that such people haven’t really known the person they are commenting. They have just met him/her for about 10 minutes and they are branded.
2. The negativity surrounding me. I know a lot of people, mostly elderly who shoot their trap the moment you tell them about your plans or ideas. Unsolicited advises aren’t welcome, I wish I had a comment moderator in real life.
3. Forceful parents. I pity those kids in high schools who are worse than Donkeys of EGYPT by their sheer level of exploitation and torture. I was lucky that I had parents who never forced me to study, except on very few occasions. I believe parents should be guides and not Managers ( by my company standards).
4. Forceful Husbands. I don’t believe in gender domination. I love women, for their role they play so efficiently, be it mothers, sisters, wife, Girlfriends. I cannot stand men who feel macho about themselves when they ill-treat or abuse women. I admire and respect men who take up roles of a woman (in marital relationships) when the need arise (probably having seen my father do that after my mother’s death).
5. People, especially teenagers or adolescent, showing off fake attitudes. YO-YO, we are HIP and CHICK. WE ARE WILD AND HAPPENING. I hate it more when such people, from middle class upbringing abruptly adopt such attitudes, just for the heck of it, To sound cool and contemporary, and it’s apparent that it isn’t. I hate such DUDES and DUDETTES.
le embrouille blogueur, buddy, That’s about all that I have at short notice, that annoys me so much that I write it.With your permission, let me twist or modify the tag. Let me respond by writing about moments in the past which had made me go CRAZY.
6. I was caught in the act of forgery. No, I wasn’t forging a bank cheque or something of that order.I was in 10 th standard and we had an extremely strict and Hitler-like Chemistry Teacher, and being naturally lazy, I never completed my Chemistry Practical record books, until few days before the final submission. Having half of my records un checked and unsigned by her, we (myself and 3 more partners of crime) decided that it would be pretty nasty if we submit it now, since she had proclaimed that previously unsigned Record books wouldn’t be signed again, which meant we would never get any marks for them.Ta-Da, we signed for her. Almost half of the book was signed by me and the signature so close to the original that it went unnoticed by the very teacher, until she noticed the date I had mentioned below the signature. Here I go, I had signed a date for which she was away holidaying in Goa with her family and probably the beaches and the memories of Port wine she had in Goa(or the good time she had with her hubby in bed) that went against us, she immediately became aware that on such date, she can never sign this record. The entire class record books were re-scrutinized and culprits were caught. We were almost expelled from the school, but for the kindheartedness of the Principal, who felt we deserved one more chance, provided we apologize before the entire school on the podium, during the morning assembly. My apology Speech was written by my DAD, and poor man was asked to be present during my notoriously dubious speech. Being the leader of the gang, I was the first to make the speech, and I had all the hairs on my body stand up, forming billions of well formed Goosebumps. I felt my skin would peel off any moment, but thinking about it now, I feel I was lucky that I was caught. It made me learn a lesson so early in life that there is nothing in this world more worthy, than being honest and truthful. It also made me love my Father, having seen a different face altogether from his Benito Mussoloni type persona. I thought he would instantly take his Army rifle and shoot me point blank, but instead he looked into my eyes and kept his silence. That silence was much more than a thousand whacks, with a long cane on my fleshy butt. I have never repeated another such act and never will.
7. There was a girl in my school, Simi, who had hijacked my heart ever since I laid my eyes on her. And I was ridiculously shy with girls. My crush was so strong that I decided to unfasten my heart before her, but my thin and malnutritioned courage rebelled against me. It took 6 months for me to form enough courage to go and propose her; after numerous prayers and rehearsals, I zeroed on a date. It was during that time that I remember becoming awfully devotional to Sri Krishna, having read about his Long list of Girlfriends, (coming to an astronomical 16 thousand and odd. ). My prayers went something like this, “ Ohh, Krishna, The lord of Romance. We all know that you had officially recognized sixteen thousand girlfriends. Please, all I ask is for one. Please fill Simi with enough LOVE for me. Pleaseee, make her accept me, without laughing at me or creating a scene. I will be indebted to you for rest of my life. I will never ask for any more favors. Pleaseeee”…..And the outcome was………….I blabbered about 80% of my planned speech, but she chuckled so loudly that I almost felt it echo across the whole school building. My crush was crushed prematurely. When I think about it, I feel it’s one of the craziest moments in my life and will be for a long time, unless I do something crazier than that in the future. And also, I feel she laughed at me because I was in 8th standard and she was in 11th. See the age difference? Like every other guy I was drawn to more mature women. (Not anymore though).
8. I had a long series of text message chat with my Immediate boss a few years back and it so happened that he refused my leave application( in between the SMS chat over the cell phone). I was so furious and upset that I wanted to vent my anger and decided to Text my wife, and it went something like. “The bastard has refused my leave appli. Asshole, God knows what he thinks of himself. Fucker wants to go on leave and wants me to stay and manage the office”. The tragedy and comedy was, instead of sending to my wife, I sent to the boss himself in a fit of absentmindedness. OHHHH, I was out of breath for few minutes and almost choked and fainted. I got an instant reply, “Thank you. This is a nice way of showing your gratitude to me. I shall remember this for a very long time.” But I was lucky that before the time came for my annual appraisal, he had quit his job and moved to Canada.
9. I was about 10 years old and was on a summer vacation to Kerala. We decided to have a dip in the Temple pond and after hours of fooling around, were finally out of water. Having not carried any extra towel, changing the wet underwear turned out to be an extremely tricky task and the struggle to cover my modesty met with a tragic end when out of despair, I decided to go stark naked to dry clean myself before pulling on a fresh undie. As soon as I pulled my wet cover over my modesty, a bunch of aunties showed themselves, as if out of nowhere and I stood frozen in time, wonderstruck. My 10 year old body and my wiener stood on display for the giggly and girly aunties to relish and the moments carved permanently as an embarrassment memoir in my memory album.
10. Writing this blog post, remembering all those crazy moments was crazy in itself. And having written so much, let me wind up, before you guys get bugged.
Sorry for a loooong post and before I conclude, lemme tag few of my friends.
1. Anju-My first friend on the blogger. Way to go lady.
2. Jyothi: I am sure she has so much to say. Bubbling with energy, yet an aspiring superwoman.
3. Aparna: Your witty writing style would be apt for writing such a crazy post.
4. Rahul: Dude, try something off your niche. Let us know when you aren’t reviewing books.
5. Zeba: I know you are waiting to be tagged. Lets hear you talk
6. P:Hey woman, Lets hear you talk.
7. Priya: Ok, hope you won’t cover yourself under an oversized Sunglass.
8.The panorama:OK, Woman.
9.Dhanya:OK, Young Lady
10. Abstract: Dude, you are tagged, No escape now.
13. Santanu Dada
15. Everyone on my blog list or follow list(Pleaseeee)
And check out this blog, here. Good one, isnt it?
And anyone who wants to join….( I know that’s a ridiculous way of inviting people)..hail the Tag Virus, Amen!!!
P.S: Request you all to please check this site. Please take the message and lets contribute for a cause.............
Lets paint the world GREEN, Literally!!!!!!!!