My Fundaas....

There is one thing that I admire about Amitabh Bahchan: his diplomatic style of speech. I wish I could have his patience, cunningness, composure in handling difficult situations. I guess he has mastered it over years and he would have been like me: short tempered and straight-forward. Actually over years I have made one observation: It takes a lot to be diplomatic and tactful and its much-much easier to be -so called “brutally honest”. I feel people-handling is key to a man’s success, more than anything else, more than even his educational qualification.

I feel its also important in life to adopt a middle path, as Buddhism teaches.  Its important to have ambitions or goal in life, but its also important to be content. I read a comment somewhere where the person says “the truth is that we can never be content with what we have. It is human nature and there is nothing wrong in desiring for more.” I feel its possible to be content. Contentment provides such bliss which is unexplainable. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have desires or ambitions. We can be content with what we have, yet have ambitions and desire. 

I feel another thing that most humans lack is Empathy. When I was in 7th std, I could never figure-out algebra or equations. I used to curse and hate them. My father used to shout at me and sometimes pinch me to get things right and I used to feel hurt. Then, I passed-out of school and was waiting for my entrance exam results soon after the 12th exams, and I was asked to tutor my neighbor’s daughter who was in 7th std. I used to shout at her and never understood why she couldn’t do such simple equations by herself. It appeared I had altogether forgotten my 7th std experience and now was doing the same thing my Father did to me( minus the pinching).

I guess we swap positions in life. We were once the eve teasers, roadside Romeos, or the man who eloped with someone’s daughter. But now I am a father and fear about my daughter(though she is only 8 months old). I would like all eve teasers, Romeos to be miles away from her. I would kill, dare someone make a pass at her.

I feel it’s very important quality in humans to be empathetic. World would be a much better place to live if we are taught to be empathetic. By definition empathy is: “The ability to put oneself into the mental shoes of another person to understand her emotions and feelings.” Or “the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.”

Actually from my experience, whenever I am overly angry or hate a person, I have benefited by being empathetic to him/her. When I put myself in the person’s shoes, I have felt that what the person did at that moment was right and probably I would have done the same if I were in his position. Basically, every human is good; it’s how people define good or bad. And our anger, most often manifests from our own frustrations and disappointments. It ceases the moment we take our mind out of it and focus on something else around us. Or as Bhagwat Geetha says: “Its all Maya”.Its all a mind game...or a game our mind plays.

I have got some amazing blog dosts

I have got some amazing blog dosts, who, though virtual, I am very proud to have. There are some who are lawyers, some are retired and contented, some are struggling to make a mark for themselves, some are students and yet some are mysterious and I have no clue what they do for a living. I haven’t been blogging for long, just 6 months to be precise, but still have managed to make some amount of followers and friends.I know some who are quite young and remind me when I was their age. When I was in college or in early 20s, I was this arrogant brat who thought he knew most of the things there is to know about life. I used to argue with my dad, I used to call myself an atheist without knowing the real psychology or meaning behind the word GOD, simply because I thought I was well educated from a premier professional college in India. Then life taught me some lessons and the fact that there is more to GOD than just religion, idol or pilgrimage; it has more to do with human psyche or the evolution of human psyche, since thousands of years. I have realized that humans who have strong belief in god are much happier and thus healthier than non believers.  I guess life teaches us lessons and only when confronted with such lessons that most of us learn.  It takes some difficult moments like waiting for a biopsy result to confirm ones worst fears or some catastrophic calamity like earthquakes or cyclones, as in the case of our ancestors, to realize that your life is indeed not in your hands.  Perhaps that’s when one realize that life is profoundly unpredictable and anything is possible in the very next hour, which can make most humans extremely anxious , and such anxieties can make lives extremely agonizing. Perhaps that’s when our ancestors would have invented GOD and belief in GOD would have lead to ways to please him and thus religious rituals would have formed.

Now, when I turn back and look at my days when I called myself an atheist and argued with my father, I feel I was rather immature. I now feel religion and worship has contributed to human development much more than anything else in the world. I believe that to call religious practices and beliefs unscientific and dissolute is to spread the message to be anxious and fearful of the profoundly erratic world and in the process take away the pillar of support of the mankind. I feel every human needs a support factor, at least on a sub-conscious level and a healthy subconscious mind is mostly responsible for a healthy and happy human being. Recent surveys have found that as many as 18% of Americans may be affected by one or more forms of Anxiety disorders.

Ops, I started off thinking that I would write about some of my blog-dosts from my perspective but ended up being preachy.

Neha: The most enthusiastic blogger in my list, a genuinely down-to-earth and caring person; a nice human being.  An avid blogger and reader of other blogs, in spite being a busy lawyer. One thing that I envy about her is that she works for herself and is self employed. I have this awe and respect for anyone who is self employed. I want to be my own boss and have to wait for few more years to cover all aspects of the risk factor involved. Once sufficiently funded and convinced that even if my business fails I could support my family, I would venture my own. Meanwhile I am sharpening my tools  and training to be a chef. Watch-out you hungry people.

Aparna: Her posts are naturally witty and humour comes as naturally to her as laziness to me. It’s always a pleasure reading her and her anecdotes have caused many a laugh-riots.  I wonder how she manages to write such lengthy posts in spite of being a mother to couple of naughty kids, Buts that’s where the right spirit and energy and multi tasking skills come to play its part. Keep writing.

The unsure ascetic: The most underrated blogger; A fine writer as well as painter; A very astute observer of life;  a poetic and free spirited person at heart.  It’s always a pleasure reading his blog.

Kaddu: She is mysterious as her name suggests, but I get a peep of her world through her blog. Though she writes on everyday topics, her sense of humour and writing style makes even a disclaimer attention-grabbing read. She is a quintessential blogger and represents the new age woman.

Global Madrasi: This is one blog I wait for everyday as much as my dad waits for his morning cuppa tea and the Malayala-manorama newspaper.  From current affairs to anecdotes, one is almost always sure that it would end up making the reader LOL.

To be continued…..

A Bit of self-realization...

Today, I had a friend who happened to visit me in my office. We realized that we hadn’t seen each other for quite some time. We went to the nearby coffee-shop and over several coffees and snacks had a lengthy discussion on our private lives…

Over the discussion, I realized that we had so much in common. We both have same by-now irritating and forceful parents, who feel they are being grossly neglected since we got married. We both have parents who make the most of every opportunity to let their wards ( we) know that they (apparently) sacrificed their whole life so that they could bring us up.We both have parents who make us believe over-and-again that we still are small babies( who always commit mistakes) for them, no matter how big or grown we think we are. We have parents who think we are getting too influenced by our wives, and accuse her of alienating us from them.

He was telling me on how his father had a professional auditor-like database of all the chadies(underwear) he bought for his son, since he was born. I couldn’t help but laugh, at the same time wonder how our situations were so alike. I have often wondered why my father thinks its important to let me know that he spent Rs.100(in late 70s) every time I had a milk tooth.He still remembers how he took me in his arms and ran to the doctor when I had my first allergic reaction after eating peanuts. He would look at me pensively as if I was the most unappreciative and unthankful guy to walk the planet on two legs. Then my mother would take over and remind me that they were the ones who made me what I am today and I should never forget my roots, as if I had some acute Gajani-style amnesia.

I have now started wondering how families lived together as a one-huge-joint-family until few generations ago. It would surely lead to a world-war 3, if we were to live like that in today’s times. I have come to observe that so much of ego is rampant in our society, that brothers-sisters can’t see each other. I have seen in my own family that if one brother( dads brother) buys a Hyundai i20, the other one has to buy a verna, even if it means an exorbitantly high EMI.

There surely is a huge generation gap between my parents and me. At every step of a decision, the most significant factor is what-others-will-think. I know I care two-hoots about what others (mostly neighbours) will think when I make a decision. I don’t really understand why its so important to let my daughter know how I had to look after her(sleeplessly) when she was a toddler. Isnt why I am called her father? Isnt what I am supposed to do, having brought her to this world?

Having said that I must admit that its also a learning experience. I know that sure-shot way of spoiling the parent-children relationship is to constantly remind them how much they should be grateful to them. Giving price tag to a relationship is an easy way of ruining it, be it a father-son relationship.

P.S: Thanks for reading. Views expressed are mine and blogs are a medium to express ones thouhgts.... One persons RIGHT might be other persons WRONG.

India

Am I less patriotic when I constantly grumble about the terrible things that I see in India? Then why does my blood boil when I see Western TV Channels(National Geographic) call India(Mumbai) “The craziest place on the planet”?

I was watching NDTV yesterday and the election results in Maharashtra. I could see VilasRao Deshmukh Sweat when asked by Srinivasan Jain about the one thing that the congress government has achieved in the last 10 years of rule.  Is ten years too short a period in History to judge a ruling government? Then what have we achieved in the last 60 years of Independence?

I somehow feel that India is headed towards an economical and political disaster. History has several examples to show that whenever the suppression and tyranny has crossed the thresholds of acceptance, there has always been a major revolution. .

I feel the poor, oppressed, indebted farmers or any citizen of this country should fight for themselves. I feel no matter how many NGO’s fight for their cause or sincere, dedicated politician come out for their cause, unless they themselves know that they are exploited, suppressed and taken for granted, there can never be a change in their position.

 But my biggest worry is that it seems we have been exposed to so much corruption, brutality, blood and murder that we have become immune and sights fail to move us further than a certain point. India is like one of those timeless fortresses, which uphold their scars and battered structures as the essence of their being. The lives that reside within such monuments-plants, birds, rodents and reptiles, turn indifferent to the surroundings as long as they are able to sustain themselves. People who live in this country are no different

keep the fire alive.......

I was reading an excellent article on Ramesh’s blog(Global Madrasi), which quotes Buddha: ““Learn to let go and be free.”- Lord Buddha.

This is very true in my case. I have felt that the thing that you chase always tend to move away from you. The moment you stop chasing it, it comes to you as if by some miracle or divine intervention.

When I was in college I was madly in love with this girl who took great pleasure in avoiding my evident crush. I took Great pain in letting her know the depth of my true feelings for her, through several methods known to me at that time. I even spent most of my pocket money on her, living the rest of the month on 1/4th of the balance that was left of appeasing her. But she avoided me.

Then I got sick of it and decided to leave her and focus on my studies and career. There comes the lady, trying to do all that I did to her to garner her attention. But when I had left my stubborn attachment, I found nothing in her that had made me drool over her earlier and we parted ways, she obviously distressed.

Then comes another instance when I started working and did everything I could to get my career move forward. I slogged for 15 hours a day, worked without leave for months, sacrificed my personal life…etc..but I was denied a promotion which I deserved rightfully. Then having lost all hope I started to take things lightly. I took offs, Started taking sick-leaves, even bunked for silly things like movies…and in 6 months time, I got my first promotion…I couldn’t believe what was happening to me.

There are many more examples which have convinced me that when you desire something from your heart, give your best and move aside: It would definitely come to you.

Or as Confucius says: “ And, When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Thanks for reading buddy….and keep the fire alive in your bellies…

And zillionbig ponders over his life and the cosmos !

Caution: Long post ahead, and is high in Philosophy and Physics. All readers who think they are dumb and stoopid can skip this post.

Bloggers who fully read word-by-word of this extremely lengthy and tedious post would be given honorary doctorates, considering their contribution to the field of blogology.

A few days back I left a comment on RAMYA’s blog, which goes something like, ** when i was in high school(11th) we used to talk about astrophysics, and Einstein’s space-time theory and why mass turns to infinity when traveled at the speed of light. Seriously, we were very -very STOOPID**.Ever since I commented on her blog , I have been pondering over my years when I was that age.

In fact, it’s not a lie. When I was all of 15-16, I was part of a gang comprising of Jayesh, Arun and me, the gang of 3 also known as the gang of BUNKERS, since we were champs of class bunking. Our school ground was encircled by a semi-high compound wall and gradually after first few failed attempts to jump-over, became a subject of our effortless cross-overs. Cross-over’s they were since the moment we landed on the outside world, the air seemed to abruptly carry a strange fragrance of liberation. And the liberated moments were spent sneaking furtively into the Cinema theatre, which to our luck always showed an English movie for the noon-show.

And when we were not watching English Adult movies, we could be found chatting; about ASTO-PHYSICS in the most literal form.We had carved our very own existence through the realms of physics and many equations which provided rationale to our notions of existentialism. I remember we used to have heated discussions about how the Universe was created. We discussed about big-bang and what would have happened and how it would have felt if we were to become spectators to the greatest spectacle of natural magnificence.

To tell you the truth, we were totally awestruck by the sheer dimensions of the dimensionless universe. It was also the first instance when we voyaged on a journey far removed from the materialistic terrains of the world that surrounded us, until the very minutes of self-realization and into a world of Mysticism and spirituality. Humbling experience it was, least to say so.
We discussed about how the world wrestled over small territories and possessions over wealth and status, when the real world was before us, that we figured, when we lounged on the terrace of my house, facing the infinite but clear blue sky.

Coming back to Astro-physics, I remember an information which cropped up during our conversation that there were a billion-billion galaxies in the universe, which had over a billion-billion stars, which might have at least a dozen planets like earth, which would have life in it. I remember us discussing about how the distant life would be, and what Mother Nature would have created, in her canvas of artistic endeavor.We were of the opinion that if the distant planet was as old as our planet, the process of evolution might have created a species which might be as intelligent as we were, or even more.

We discussed about Einstein’s Theory of General relativity, and laws of quantum physics. I remember discussing about the strange phenomenon of THE BLACK HOLE, and how a black hole could suck everything that came near to it, not even sparing Light or space. We couldn’t even perceive how a black hole could suck space into it, and our until then notions of space-time was shattered by this Einstein fellow.

Can anyone imagine the Universe to have materialized out of a single point of concentration, which was as small as the word SMALL could get. What was of universe back then, when atoms were not created and how big an explosion it would have been, that it continues to explode at an ever increasing rate, starting from billions of years-The BIG BANG THEORY. How nano seconds after the big-bang the first protons and neutrons were created into a nucleus, and out of some strange mysterious process, electrons started revolving around it to form the first ATOMs. How from a simple Hydrogen atom, complex atoms of metals were created and how we came into being after several billions of years to evolve into a thinking mind and body.

We concluded that the first point-of-concentration of the universe was BRAHMAN( the god form in advaita philosophy), the supreme god almighty and we are all part of it and were atman, connected to the whole(Brahman).There was no other way, but to believe in God since rationale didn’t explain much competently to our inquisitiveness.

We tried hard to envision a world beyond the boundaries of the Universe, which is not yet a part of the universe, Owing to our universe being expanding since the BIG BANG. There was nothing, not even space. Can anyone image a space which was not yet a space. Certainly not our juvenile 15 year old mind.

My 11th standard was also a time when suddenly on a blue moon day, I developed an obsessive desire to know about Ancient Egypt. We three would spend time, searching the thick encyclopedias of our well stocked library and writing notes about mummies and pyramids, and their belief in after life. It was a time when Pharaoh’s captured our imagination and we did a research on King Tutankhamen. We would live and dream about his palace and his court, and the luxuries surrounding the places.

I really don’t know if we were absurd or normal (or paranormal), but this is what we grew up on. Though i haven’t heard from them, my school buddies are all at good places. Arun did his MTech from IIT- Bombay and went on for higher studies and did his research at MIT ( yea, the Massachusetts one). Jayesh is a banker and is with Morgan Stanley, Hongkong. And me, The Zillionbig is blogging before your very eyes.

To quote myself(AHEM, AHEM), ***Life becomes sensible, when figured out through the views of the great men who donned it and To quote Tagore; All men have poetry in their hearts, and it is necessary for them, as much as possible, to express their feelings. For this they must have a medium, moving and pliant, which can refreshingly become their own, age after age. All great languages undergo change. Those languages which resist the spirit of change are doomed and will never produce great harvests of thought and literature. When forms become fixed, the spirit either weakly accepts its imprisonment or rebels. All revolutions consist of the "within" fighting against invasion from "without"... All great human movements are related to some great idea.***

As I sit to write this, I can almost feel the purring sensation of the passage of thoughts in my head. I wonder how good it would be, if I were to make a note of each and every thought that passed my mind. In other words, not a single thought crosses me unregistered and I scrutinize the worth of every single one of them. An impracticable notion, isn’t it? As they say, it’s the thoughts that maketh the Man, I wonder if it’s that small number of thoughts that I discerned, that made ME.