Today, I had a friend who happened to visit me in my office. We realized that we hadn’t seen each other for quite some time. We went to the nearby coffee-shop and over several coffees and snacks had a lengthy discussion on our private lives…
Over the discussion, I realized that we had so much in common. We both have same by-now irritating and forceful parents, who feel they are being grossly neglected since we got married. We both have parents who make the most of every opportunity to let their wards ( we) know that they (apparently) sacrificed their whole life so that they could bring us up.We both have parents who make us believe over-and-again that we still are small babies( who always commit mistakes) for them, no matter how big or grown we think we are. We have parents who think we are getting too influenced by our wives, and accuse her of alienating us from them.
He was telling me on how his father had a professional auditor-like database of all the chadies(underwear) he bought for his son, since he was born. I couldn’t help but laugh, at the same time wonder how our situations were so alike. I have often wondered why my father thinks its important to let me know that he spent Rs.100(in late 70s) every time I had a milk tooth.He still remembers how he took me in his arms and ran to the doctor when I had my first allergic reaction after eating peanuts. He would look at me pensively as if I was the most unappreciative and unthankful guy to walk the planet on two legs. Then my mother would take over and remind me that they were the ones who made me what I am today and I should never forget my roots, as if I had some acute Gajani-style amnesia.
I have now started wondering how families lived together as a one-huge-joint-family until few generations ago. It would surely lead to a world-war 3, if we were to live like that in today’s times. I have come to observe that so much of ego is rampant in our society, that brothers-sisters can’t see each other. I have seen in my own family that if one brother( dads brother) buys a Hyundai i20, the other one has to buy a verna, even if it means an exorbitantly high EMI.
There surely is a huge generation gap between my parents and me. At every step of a decision, the most significant factor is what-others-will-think. I know I care two-hoots about what others (mostly neighbours) will think when I make a decision. I don’t really understand why its so important to let my daughter know how I had to look after her(sleeplessly) when she was a toddler. Isnt why I am called her father? Isnt what I am supposed to do, having brought her to this world?
Having said that I must admit that its also a learning experience. I know that sure-shot way of spoiling the parent-children relationship is to constantly remind them how much they should be grateful to them. Giving price tag to a relationship is an easy way of ruining it, be it a father-son relationship.
P.S: Thanks for reading. Views expressed are mine and blogs are a medium to express ones thouhgts.... One persons RIGHT might be other persons WRONG.