Saturday, 14 November 2009

My Fundaas....

There is one thing that I admire about Amitabh Bahchan: his diplomatic style of speech. I wish I could have his patience, cunningness, composure in handling difficult situations. I guess he has mastered it over years and he would have been like me: short tempered and straight-forward. Actually over years I have made one observation: It takes a lot to be diplomatic and tactful and its much-much easier to be -so called “brutally honest”. I feel people-handling is key to a man’s success, more than anything else, more than even his educational qualification.

I feel its also important in life to adopt a middle path, as Buddhism teaches.  Its important to have ambitions or goal in life, but its also important to be content. I read a comment somewhere where the person says “the truth is that we can never be content with what we have. It is human nature and there is nothing wrong in desiring for more.” I feel its possible to be content. Contentment provides such bliss which is unexplainable. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have desires or ambitions. We can be content with what we have, yet have ambitions and desire. 

I feel another thing that most humans lack is Empathy. When I was in 7th std, I could never figure-out algebra or equations. I used to curse and hate them. My father used to shout at me and sometimes pinch me to get things right and I used to feel hurt. Then, I passed-out of school and was waiting for my entrance exam results soon after the 12th exams, and I was asked to tutor my neighbor’s daughter who was in 7th std. I used to shout at her and never understood why she couldn’t do such simple equations by herself. It appeared I had altogether forgotten my 7th std experience and now was doing the same thing my Father did to me( minus the pinching).

I guess we swap positions in life. We were once the eve teasers, roadside Romeos, or the man who eloped with someone’s daughter. But now I am a father and fear about my daughter(though she is only 8 months old). I would like all eve teasers, Romeos to be miles away from her. I would kill, dare someone make a pass at her.

I feel it’s very important quality in humans to be empathetic. World would be a much better place to live if we are taught to be empathetic. By definition empathy is: “The ability to put oneself into the mental shoes of another person to understand her emotions and feelings.” Or “the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.”


Actually from my experience, whenever I am overly angry or hate a person, I have benefited by being empathetic to him/her. When I put myself in the person’s shoes, I have felt that what the person did at that moment was right and probably I would have done the same if I were in his position. Basically, every human is good; it’s how people define good or bad. And our anger, most often manifests from our own frustrations and disappointments. It ceases the moment we take our mind out of it and focus on something else around us. Or as Bhagwat Geetha says: “Its all Maya”.Its all a mind game...or a game our mind plays.

15 comments:

Priya said...

Sab Maya hai..:D:D:D....wel a profound post..like it pretty much...i wasnt being diplomatic u c...it's really so easy to be "Brutally Honest"..:D:D:D

kavita said...

http://kathytrejo.blogspot.com/2009/11/who-is-dipa-ma.html

ZB ..WHAT A COINCIDENCE ..i was about to suggest you this link as i know your interest in Buddhism...check this post if you got time.

Will be back later to properly read your post.

Jyothi said...

Everything is Maya! Who is Maya now? he he... Well said and a great post!

Neha said...

people say, but very few implement certain learnings...

one point that you mentioned here - it is easy to be brutally honest, but it is difficult to take it when u throw it at someone...I ave mentioned a similar point in my post too...the question is never about honesty, it is about how you accept it..

I feel it’s very important quality in humans to be empathetic - totally agree with this...

nice post :))

Dhanya said...

Yeah, it's so easy to be brutally honest! Not so easy for the person who is taking it though ;) People-handling is definitely very important and plays a major role everywhere - at work, with your family, everywhere! I wish I was as tactful as AB sr too. Something which you will be able to attain only as you grow older..

Aparna said...

It is probably true that being brutally honest is easier but saying the truth always may not serve the purpose. I am discovering this more and more while dealing with my 14 year old. You need to be flexible and diplomatic while dealing with teens.
It is also very important to see from the other side. Good post ZB.

Neha said...

ZB buddy, my holiday destination is where ur family is right now - Kerala :)

Bindhu Unny said...

Agree with all your thoughts. "Basically, every human is good." So let's try to better human beings. :)

Bindhu Unny said...

The earlier comment was "Let's try to be better human beings" :)

Rashmi said...

I so damn agree with the Bigb's diplomacy part.....aarrgg it iritates the nerve outta me everytime i somehow stumble across or have been a victim of his OH-so-good(truth being YAAA RIGHT) speeches.

I also am very STRAIGHT forward or brutally honest by nature i infact am having a tough time Trying to learn the art of diplomacy....but i guess some ppl r born with it and some just dont...i am one of those who can't swear by anything except tell-it-like-you-want-to and nothing but the truth.

Loved the post :)
Cheers!

numerounity said...

I like his diplomatic style esp in the Big boss. He handles the over smart brigade really well.

Baaki to sa ne hi kaha hai...maya hai! :)

kavita said...

I try to be brutally honest to myself but choose to be humbly honest to others....if too much of honesty hurts someone's feelings and dignity.Our culture has always emphasised the importance of SUKH,SUMRRIDHI,SHANTI,PREM,KSHAMA,SANTOSH,PRARTHNA,DAYA,DAAN....HAPPINESS,PROSPERITY,PEACE,LOVE,FORGIVENESS,CONTENTMENT,PRAYERS,MERCY,EMPATHY AND SHARINGr DONATING...so i think it is good to be ambitious and to share its benefits with the family and the society.Thought provoking post .

ZB...I miss your stories ,aap kab vapaas aa rahe ho ?

Santanu Sinha Chaudhuri said...

If someone edited a book titled "Philosophical musings of non-philosophers", he or she should consider this piece. Well-written, straight from the heart. Enjoyed reading it. Thanks.

le embrouille blogueur said...

Good stuff dude... though worrying about the baby this early ... not too cool ... and also about AB ... not a big fan of his .. but then you are right about this diplomacy .. just that ...it takes time to see through the fluff.

R. Ramesh said...

hey..damn good post man..:)