Monday, 31 August 2009

Predict the story !!!!!!!!!!!!!!



He reached Trivandrum at 6 in the evening. He was told that no one would pick him from the railway station, and being first-time in the city, he was a bit distraught. It was an overcrowded station like all big stations and having just a small bag with him, he walked effortlessly towards the exit sign.

Several Auto rickshaws lined outside the entrance and he climbed onto the first, informing the driver his destination. As the vehicle sped through the busy street he positioned his small hand bag on his lap and looked out at the muddled street. Often inches spaced between the auto and the bikes and the driver sped through, looking indifferent to the anarchy happening around him.

The driver would wave occasionally at his fellow auto driver, a few pleasantries were exchanged, and then he would focus on the road. Occasionally, the driver would look at his passenger through the rear mirror and then at himself and would hand comb his hair near the ears, softly.

The scorching heat made him sweat profusely. It felt surprisingly hot and he stood to take a cloth napkin from his tight pants and vigorously wiped his forehead and neck, turning it pinkish.
As the rickshaw pulled itself near the house, it was fairly dark and lights were on in the veranda, but it appeared vacant. He walked towards the veranda and reached for the calling bell, pressed it hard two times and waited. The wait appeared too long by his judgment and he wondered where all of them disappeared. He heard an approaching sound and turned to find a middle aged man walk towards him.
“Hallo,I am their neighbor, you must be Sudheer.” the man said assertively.
Sudheer nodded.
“They are not here. Savithri, aunty has been admitted to the hospital. Nirmala hospital. She started getting the pain in the afternoon, and we rushed her.” The man said in a matter of fact tone.
He kept looking at the man, expecting him to reveal more. He found the news disturbing. Not that he was really concerned about his aunt’s health; he urgently wanted to ease himself of his full bladder. He wondered if he could relieve somewhere backyard or on to some wall. His eyes wandered.
“You can come to my house, and then we will go from there.” The man said, walking towards the road.
Sudheer followed, pleased with his invitation.
“Where is the toilet?” he asked the man as he reached the house. The man signaled and Sudheer wondered if he saw a slight grin on his face.


He reached the hospital at seven. He was guided towards the maternity ward and the man departed, giving him a telephone number to call in case of emergency.

He was only seventeen, yet he was the only man available for help to his aunt at her time of need. Her husband had to visit US for a project few months back. Another of his aunt, Rupmini, had also arrived, but her husband as always was too busy to be present. Rupmini often said sarcastically about her husband, ‘’my husband can never be seen at home, I was lucky that he was available for my delivery. Otherwise, I thought, ha!” she would smile awkwardly.
He climbed the stairs tiredly and reached the second floor. He looked towards the signage and walked towards the ward.

Rupmini Aunty got up when she saw him and came towards him. She smiled at him and said in one gasp, “Good that you have come, how the journey was? We didn’t expect this. You sit here; I will go to the nurse room.” He nodded at her and smiled back resignedly. She left swiftly. He knew she was waiting for him. “My role starts. What am I, A watchman for the family?” He asked himself derisively.

He felt as if he would faint if he didnt sit somewhere. His legs yelled at him, or so he felt. He jumped onto the plastic chair; Twelve hour journey in the overcrowded train had taken every speck of liveliness out of him. He wished for a bed and looked longingly at Savithri aunty. She appeared in sound sleep. He wondered if she would deliver soon, he hoped so. He would travel back to Calicut once through. He wondered if he would get to see Trivandrum Zoo, but he dared not to utter about it in these circumstances. He would be chided angrily for being self-centric.

He had sat the whole night in the ward, other than few times when without his control he had drifted into a brief slumber, to be awakened when his head drooped, it was sleepless night. His aunt Rupmini had slept on the adjacent cot, next to Savithri aunty and in between had woken to order tea for herself. He had to go out, hazily to the canteen and get tea for her. He had started thinking whether he would soon lose his temper. He hoped otherwise. It was just a matter of few days, once finished he would be gone. How his mother had forced him into this. “To be a man can be a pang sometimes ", he thought broodingly. "so many responsibilities. These women have just to deliver babies, and for rest of the labor a man is required.” He pondered desolately.

It was at ten that Sumesh, Rupmini aunt’s son arrived. Both were close friends, but Sudheer noticed that lately he had started to detest him. Sumesh appeared to have an air of dominance around him; as if he knew something more than him, which he reviled. Sumesh was two years elder to him, but had started working, which earned him admiration. He knew that was more of the reason for his detest.
“This guy has so much attitude; god knows what he thinks of himself, Mohanlal?” He brooded.
Sumesh smiled at him as he walked towards him and they shook hands.

Two days had passed since he arrived in Trivandrum, but the suffering had anything but passed. It seemed Savithri aunty had a false labor and doctors had calculated that she would take few more days to deliver. Since the doctor expected sure complications, she was asked to stay at the hospital. It was nearly confirmed to be a caesarian. Sudheer hated uncertainty about the date. He hoped that she would deliver soon and he would get back home, but would have to show dependability before his folks. This would be his opportunity to prove his worth.

He had hardly slept but that didn’t bother him much. It was the dreariness of the hospital that bothered him and missed the outside world. He wondered if prisoners in jail would feel similar to him-he was sure he was inferior to a prisoner. At least they had committed a crime.
Sumesh would ease him for few minutes, just to wash and hurried visit to the toilet.
“Lucky him, I too would need to work soon, else, I would end up being a reliever for all.” He thought pensively.

He would go to the canteen and get meals for Savithri and Rupmini Aunty. He would be asked to get tea for the visitors, and some nodded shamelessly when asked for a drink. He would force a smile, but cursed quietly once out of the room.
Rupmini aunty would say to Sumesh, “Son, you go home and rest, doctor was saying it would take another three- four days. You have to go for work, Go son, Sudheer is there, I would call you for help.”

Sumesh would hesitate, show how much he wished to be of help, but would leave upon his mothers command. He would visit at night for few minutes and again would be asked to leave. Savithri aunty accredited his arrival by getting up from the bed and smiling at him.
Sudheer would watch the drama; he noticed that no one smiled at him. He was just called to order tea or food for them. He felt vastly disregarded. He yearned to be treated like Sumesh.
After Savithri Aunty delivered, people would say nice things about him too, “How he was of so much help to them, he is so responsible”. He would provide help and be the man in-charge. Suresh would be at work and only available at night; Very less chances that she would deliver during his presence. Sumesh’s presence would take the whole acclaim off from him.
The doctor arrived on her morning visit at seven thirty and asked few questions to Savithri Aunty. She smiled and doctor returned her smile. She turned to Rupmini aunty and said, “Everything is fine. I think it should be tomorrow or day after, nothing to worry. “She left hurriedly.

Sudheer had trouble with his anger. Another 2 days? He would die of boredom. This is the nastiest thing to have happened to him. It was expected of her to deliver today. He walked out sadly, towards the canteen to tone down his disappointment. He sat on a bench and grabbed the newspaper kept on the table and gazed, turning the pages frantically. His friends would be playing football at this time.

As soon as he turned the second page, he noticed the big poster, almost quarter the page size. RANGEELA: Starring, Jackie shroff, Aamir Khan and Urmila mathonkar, From Today at NEW theatre. He looked at the date, “Oh, today is Friday? I totally forgot, Rangeela is releasing today.” He muttered to himself, elatedly.
He looked again at the poster and stared hard at Urmila Mathonkar. He had never seen her in such skimpy clothes. He looked longingly again. He had been waiting for this movie for a long time. It would be a certain super hit; for sure. There were talks about it since months. “Urmila in a new avatar, the sexiest role yet in Bollywood.”
“Oh, what songs”. He almost roared in excitement. He had watched few songs on chitrahaar. “Tanha, tanha yaha pe jeena”, he crooned to himself, Urmila Mathonkar started running through his nerves, making him fixated.

He would go for it. His friends would have already made plans. He started missing his friends more. He looked sadly at his watch. Eight, he still has ample time for the noon show, he opened the newspaper again. “Noon show is at 12.” It was a short burst of cry.
He heard a voice from somewhere back of his mind, “How would you go? You are on hospital duty, remember, you fool.” He stopped.
He would have to make a plan. He would say something to Rupmini Aunty; he would have to think about something solid.

After a brief ponder, he went towards Rupmini aunty. She looked at him with a blank expression. “Aunty shall I get breakfast for you?” he asked teasingly. She looked at the clock and then looked at him puzzled. She nodded.
He left happily to fetch breakfast for her, his first whole hearted service in two days.
He looked at his watch again; 8:30 am. He would ask his aunty now.
“Aunty, what did the doctor say about the delivery?” he asked in his best playful voice.
She lifted her head and said, “Two or three days, can be tomorrow also. Why?”
“No, I was thinking, I had to go to my friend’s house. “He said cautiously.
“You have a friend here?”
“Yes aunty, one of my friends Kishore is from here. When I told him that I was traveling to Trivandrum, he asked me to visit his home and meet his father. He wanted some urgent books.” He said slowly, taking effort to sound legitimate.
“But how would you go? You were sent to take care of your aunt. Who will be here if you go?” She asked with a veneer of anger.
“No, I would be back in an hour, Maximum one and half hour. Just meet his father and then I would return.” He said swiftly, almost forcefully.
“No, But, what if” She tried to speak.
“Aunty, please. The doctor said for tomorrow or in two days, right? I wouldn’t get a chance later. I would try to come as quick as possible.” He said pausing for a short sigh.
“Don’t worry, she won’t deliver. Doctors can’t be wrong. They are never wrong”
She appeared in deep thoughts, looked at him nervously and said. “Would you come fast? I want you here in an hour.”
He felt he would jump in joy, he said, “sure Aunty, trust me. I would be back in an hour, maximum by two.”
“No, No. No two hours. Only one hour. I don’t have anyone for help, if something happens?” She almost looked as if she would cry any moment.
“Sure, one hour.” He went near her, touched her hands in assurance and left.


He reached the NEW theatre at 9:30. Contrary to the name, the theatre looked as if it was built by Tipu sultan or some British viceroy. It looked so old.
The entrance of the theatre looked like a beehive. It was only that the crowd was human, otherwise it was as chaotic.
He couldn’t understand the pattern, crowd seemed to start and end from nowhere. He rushed, and in few minutes, his clever eyes clearly demarked the otherwise incomprehensible human swarm.
He pushed himself through a minute crack between the human swarm, with the suppleness of a cat. He was delighted with his shrewdness; after all he was a veteran of many such movie releases. He had watched DILWALE DULHANIYA LE JAYEGE , first day first show. Who else in his circle of friends could boast of such an accomplishment? He almost gave himself a sigh of content.
Suddenly, as if out of nowhere a police jeep stopped and few policemen armed with Lathis jumped out. They scattered to different corners of the theatre and some of them in no time, had already started working on their lathis.

The refusing crowd was put in shape, well, almost intangibly and men who formed the outer layer were constantly subjected to the lathi. Yet the crowd looked unmanageable and policemen had to move violently to bring a tad of relief to the chaos. The men looked like fighters for a cause, unmoved by pain, like martyrs.


What do you think the remaining story is? What would be the title of the story? ..........Please put your story ideas and title suggestions in the comment box....the best story would be added to the existing story and published.........Thank you all.

10 comments:

Neha said...

ok, how about sumesh being at the theatre too and getting a lathi on his head? probably you may show that sumesh is with his girl...sudheer coming to his rescue with a wicked smile, taking him to the doctor and patao the girl as well...

title can be The Rangeela-Kand...

aah, this is what I can think of right now, not exactly a right time for me to predict something, but still, as always, couldn't help it but to leave a comment :)

ZB said...

hey , you are pretty close.....but there is a twist in the end....but you are close...thanks....:)))

Neha said...

tht's expected...will wait for the whole thing..

sujata said...

The movie theatre was being raided on account of some drug dealings, and Sudheer watched as Sumesh narrowly escaped being caught. Later outside on being confronted, Sumesh acknowledged that he was in serious trouble and was an addict. The smugness now completely drained from his face, was replaced with a look of utter helplessness and plea. This feeling was beyond the rush of Urmila for Sudheer.

the underdogs get lucky too can be a name for the story.

ZB I would like to post the earlier story in instalmenst if thats ok with you..I cannot blog for long these days, and yet am enjoying doing the story.. do let me know.

ZB said...

@Neha: Yea.Thanks:)

@Sujata: Thats pretty close again.but there's a twist, and it connects to the Child delivery of Rupmini Aunt?

Its fine, you could put it in 2 installments. Thanks :))

ZB said...

@Sujata: The name is good too....but i would say something which doesnt reveal the plot much...but again name isnt all too important. :)

Swatantra said...

Your blog always has a different look, its been a long time that u visited my blog..

The title should be rang le re...

ZB said...

@Swatantra: I will visit ur blog soon. I dont get any alerts for it. It seems something wrong with the google connect. Will see.

@ALL: The theme of the story is ZERO TO HERO, and BACK TO ZERO....:)

R. Ramesh said...

buddy gr8 2 hear u have been able to control anger..cheers

Kaddu said...

Hurry up and complete the story dude! I hate this "continued in part 2" funda!