Monday, 31 August 2009

The elope



She was a brahmin. He was a Muslim. The world was two parallel contours. Their world would never hold. They decided they would make it hold.


They would elope. They would elope when the sun rested in the pits of the ocean. They would elope tonight, when the world reprieved from their peccadillo.

The sun fled, tired of illuming the world; Tired of clearing obscurity from the sinister world.


She woke from her slumber. The frightening silence spread like gloominess in the murky night.


She soundlessly carried her bag and walked past her room. She walked past the hall, the kitchen, the prayer room. She reached the main door. She inserted the Copied keys on the rusted lock. The key declined to comply; She struggled with it again. The lock smirked disobediently, as if having a life of its own. She struggled in the darkness, sweating profusely. The key is stuck inside the old, rusty lock. It refused to open, as if conspiring against her elope.


She wondered. She stood thinking. "What would happen to him? What would be of their union, the elope, all the intended life together, as one".


She heard noises. Her father grumbled in sleep. "Would he be awake?"


She returned to her room, unsure of the future. She sobbed, waded by the bulky pillow; the darkness shadowed her emotions.



Soon it was morning. The sun spread its warmth; waking the world, reminding of its obscurity.


Her father walked hurriedly towards the door. He was late as usual; the qualms of the accustomed world apparent on his face.

He tried to open the lock. "The stupid, rusted, old lock".He cursed the lock.

The lock couldn’t stand the sturdiness of the Iron Hammer. It broke after a brief resistance. Father gave a hard stare at the worthless lock and threw it into the trash.


The lock shed its last tears; having tirelessly served his master until the very night, distraught by the ungratefulness of humanity.




The end.

22 comments:

Neha said...

tht was damn neat...god, from where do you get all these ideas? land me some of ur brains...i need it badly..

Rahul Anand said...

Captivating till now, but is it The end, or another part to follow?

P said...

great narrative :)

The Panorama said...

That was great, ZB. Imaginative. Loved this one:)

ZB said...

@Neha:Brain? I have very little...probably less than a lawyer. :D

Rahul: No further parts..This is it. :)

@P: Thanks Buddy:)


@Panorama: Thanks buddy :)

Sucharita Sarkar said...

Really original. I loved the sunset image and the open ending, now that the lock was gone, will the girl elope? Or will the father buy a new lock? To be continued...?

Kaddu said...

@ Suchitra:

Yes, the father will get a new lock... he obviously can't leave the house unlocked, right!

No, the girl wouldn't make another attempt at eloping, b'coz the guy will refuse to answer her phone calls or meet her now... as his ego would have been severely hurt when she didn't show up that night as planned... and it would be the end of their love story! :D

AnjuGandhi said...

nice description
specially the way u described the sun.
well the lock dint open because may be they were not destined to meet

Jyothi said...

Brilliant!!!

Aparna said...

Gods conspiring?
For the sake of Hindu Muslim unity, I hope there would be a second attempt.

The abstract scientist said...

Huh, quick one, good one. Great idea. But couldnt the girl know of any other way to escape. I know atleast 7 ways to escape from my apartment in such a scenario.

ZB said...

@Abstract: Good question. You see, most of the times we humans do things in a flurry of the moment, an impulsive, emotional reaction. Probably the girls reaction to elope with man whom she has just met the other day might be such a flurry. After all her parents have given birth to her, made her what she is today. They wouldnt do anything against her prospects.When given more time to think, she might not elope. She might find otehr ways. What other ways she finds should be left to time to decide. She may not elope the next time.....as kaddu intelligently puts it. :)

ZB said...

@Sucharita: Thanks.father will buy a new lock..but elope, might not happen :)

@Kaddu: How did you know my mind? Thanks :)

@Anju: Thanks, u r right :)


@Jyothi: Thanks lady :)

@ Aparna: haha, you are right too. Yes, actually for the unity of H & M they should unite. Humm ...they will, if thats gods wish....What are mere mortals before his wish? :)

sujata said...

Ist part of the story is there on my page ZB..loved the exercise thanks!!

Will get back to read this post of yours in a bit..need a short break

BK Chowla said...

Excellent.The pic of the lock is very expressive.
This post may actually help Hindus and Muslims to come together.

Smita said...

Fantastic piece buddy!!!

ScarletTd1ar1es said...

very mean. that lock was religiously righteous damn. :P

HaRy!! said...

All the time i think of an ending and yu come up with an ending totally outside the barrier:) and that tooo neat enuf to appreciate yu!...Well maybe a coincidence, quite recently i heard my friend talking about a couple who eloped and came back the very next week!... hmm goooood post!

Swatantra said...

That was amazing.. you are really very imaginative..

ZB said...

@ All: Thank you all. Great to know you liked it. :)

Gayathri said...

Yeah she might have taken up the decision out of an impulse..and may not repeat it..or may even confess to her dad if i were in her shoes :D

Lakshmi said...

Tht was beautiful... Loved it... :)
Absolutely Brilliant...