Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Sujata and Gayathri's version of the story

This is meant to link readers to Sujata’s version of the story for the competition. Please click here to read her story. Below is a story from the above mentioned story. Just wrote it to kill time.:D

Please click here to read Gayathri's Version of the story.


“Hello”, She picked the phone.

“Hi” He replied

“Oh Arun?”

“he he” he giggled.

“Arun, so sorry. Can I call you back? Busy with a customer”. She said.

“Sure”. He hung-up hurt.

She called again at 9 in the evening. He waited for her call all day. He was thinking all along what he would say to her. He rehearsed several lines.He made-up jokes to sound funny. Her girly giggle was all he wanted to hear. It was musical.

“ Hi” he picked her call.

“Tell me” She said.

“No, I just called to hear your voice.” He struggled.

A long Silence.

“So, how was your day?”, he asked

“Not bad” She replied.

“ I had a bad day to tell you the truth. I have a very bad boss”. She said desolately.

“ We all have bad bosses. Don’t give him an ear” He tried to cheer her.

“ I wonder how can someone be angry on someone so beautiful”. He spewed one of his much rehearsed lines.

“Stop it Arun”. She said playfully, obviously pleased.

“No, Seriously. The first instance I saw you, I lost several heart beats”, He said.
“After that,My heart beat faster to make up for the missed beats. Seriously.”

She was silent. She knew what was coming.

“ Hello, you there?”

“Yea” She said calmly.

“ My heart and mind said to me, this is it.” He continued, making full use of the situation.

“And I fell in love with you. How do you manage to do it? Tell me how many guys proposed you before?” he said sounding calm and composed; Trying hard for it.

“No one.” She said playfully, Accompanied by Her trademark Giggle.

“That’s a lie.” He said in a stretch.

“No, seriously. No one found me attractive.”. She giggled again.

“I tell you. You are the most beautiful woman I have seen in my life.” He said fast, panting; trying hard to cover it.

“You are mad.” She replied mischievously.

“ I love you Priya. I am in love with you.”He said.

“ I was in love with you the moment I met you. I have never felt it this way before. I love you. You are the most beautiful woman I have seen in my life. I mean it Priya. I mean it from my heart.”


“ hello”, He said to evoke her response.

“ What da?” She asked.

“ You haven’t replied”, He asked

“ I don’t know, Arun” She replied, sounding distressed.

“ Arun, can I call you tomorrow? I got a headache. Very bad day today.” She said.

He didn’t reply. The call went dead.

What followed was a sleepless night. He thought over and again. What went wrong? Why did she hang-up? Had he troubled her; hurt her in any way? Had he said something which he wasn’t supposed to? Should he have waited for more time? Did he hurry things?She said I-don’t-know? What did that mean? Was she seeing someone? Was she avoiding him?

The questions rolled repeatedly, over and again, turning him restless.

The next day passed without her call. She had said that she would call. He shouldn’t call her. It was her turn. He waited. Days went by. A week passed. No signs of her. No calls from her. His anxiety multiplied.

After two weeks, he decided to go to her office. He would meet her and apologize. He had said things he shouldn’t have. He had no patience. He hurried through. He regretted his words tremendously.

She was out-of office, on sales call to meet clients.

He called her on her number. After two rings she picked his call.

“ Hello” She sounded busy.

“ Hi, Priya.” He said calmly.

“ Hi, Arun. I thought you stopped calling me.” She said.

“ You have stopped , not me. What is the reason?” he asked.

Silence.A long silence. Silence appeared to say things unsaid. Her silence confirmed his fears.

“I am sorry Priya. I am sorry. I said things I shouldn’t have. I am sorry.” He said.


“ I didn’t mean it. You know. I just…I just said it…I mean.” He was blabbering.


“Say something Priya. I said sorry.”

She sounded upset; sounded as if she would sob.

“ You are sorry Arun? I knew you would be sorry. I don’t deserve love.” She said and the connection went dead.

He stood frozen; Confused; wonderstruck.; realizing his mistake. He wondered how he would bring trust again between them. He had apologized incorrectly. He shouldn’t have apologized. “Oh, God.. Should I apologize for apologizing?”

The end….


Anonymous said...

Ah! I don't know why but this reminded me of Suhel Seth's column in Graffiti...
Good one ZB. I think the girl is playing games :)

The Panorama said...

That made some racy reading...good one:)

Swatantra said...

That's cute!! poor man.. i think phone sometimes spoil things..

Kaddu said...

Ha ha ha! Trust a guy to mess things up by speaking without thinking! :D This 'Arun' character is so typically male! "I didn’t mean it" was jussssttt perfect!

I really wonder - do guys lose all their gray matter when they are really in love with someone? I mean, they are able to manage everything else in their life with such grace and presence of mind... even their relationships with girls! But when this one particular girl comes along, their mind seems to get totally disconnected! It's amazing!

I wish guys would start opening up and start writing more about what goes on in their mind when in *the* relationship! Would so like to know the other side of the story u know...

Neha said...

now I know what you meant when you narrated that plot...cool cool...I will keep this in mind...:) thanks ZB

anamika said...

This is a quick and a good one...

Gayathri said...

hahaha...so true about guys messing things up :D

sujata said...

Happy Onam ZB! Your take was great!

BK Chowla said...

Happy ONAM.
PROUD MALLU...nice pic

Anonymous said...

That was a really good story...Your stories have a lot of reality in it. Thats what makes it so great!. I have read the other versions..And I am anxiously awaiting the results..When are you declaring it?